The Millenial Art Of Flaking

Have you been invited to a friend's wedding, only to realise you were mid-way through the latest Netflix series, and you won't be done by that date? You procrastinate on telling them until the day of the wedding, only to make a silly excuse & drop out.

You tell yourself it wasn't worth it cause there will be too much traffic. Also, you probably won't be able to find parking.

So you lie on the couch, stuffing your face with butter popcorn & other greasy junk, while basking in the glory of another 'mischief managed'. Well, you need an intervention, cause you are a flaky hoe.

We have all been there, both as a flakee (who have been flaked on) and a flaker (who has flaked), and that's OK. But we all have that one friend who can't seem to commit to plans to catch up, hit the shopping mall, or even drop by for lunch.

Flakers are not the same as busy people, who would tell you well ahead of time that they are unavailable. That way, you order less pizza for your house party. Flakers would promise to be at the party, be unreachable on the day, only to send a casual message days later about some 'urgent' & 'unavoidable' task that came up. Busy people would mention how they might have a work call at a certain time, and suggest other arrangements, flakers will swear they are free all week, only for their boss to call while you are together.

In general, flakers are 'all so down' for things, only to go off the grid at the last moment, come up with a silly excuse the day before, or give vague answers about their commitment to the plan.

The thing with flakers is that they are simply happy being included, regardless of whether they like the activity or not. They feel reassured that their company is desired, and end up saying 'yes' to way too many appointments, without meaning any of it.

Their FOMO kicks in every time they miss an event, taking them on a never-ending tailspin. Some even believe saying a flat-out 'no' is way too rude, and that you're 'not fun', cause you are missing the party. Every flaker has an incessant desire to be 'fun', and wants to come off as 'genuinely interested' in other people's invites, and their lives.

But it's a load of bullshit.

Flakers are a great inconvenience to every group, but they have perfected the art of solid excuses.

In a post-pandemic world, when most broke millennials have moved back with their families under the garb of 'work from home', excuses like 'my mom said no' are trump cards. They know how foolproof this is. Mothers are gatekeepers of a household, and even your gateway into this world. You simply can't argue with somebody's mom to let their 28-year-old son off for an hour or two!

Most good-natured people shrug off such instances unless the excuses keep happening. And while technology has been it easier to flake, as we can hide behind screens and disappear on command, people can see through these and start catching on pretty quickly.

The good thing about flakers is that you know them for a short period of time, as they will flake out of your life.

The unfortunate part is that they don't realise why their family & friends don't like making plans with them anymore, make a grumpy face and refuse to take ownership over their actions, or their schedule.

Flakers, don't let it get to that. You can't live the flaky FOMO life forever.

If you care about others, you should make time for them in your life. They must have taken time out of their lives at some point for you, and if you don't value theirs, they will not value yours.

To put it simply, have a goddamn calendar and honour every appointment on it.

It's that simple.